How to Face Rejection & Get Past NO in Negotiation

How to Get Past “No” — Turn a Deadlock into Opportunity

The worst moment in a negotiation, for me, is the silence after the other side says, “No.” Not the polite no that leaves a crack of possibility, but the flat, final kind that apparently seems to be shutting the door. You can feel the air go thin, spreadsheets stop mattering, and the calendar — where the launch, the delivery, the target dates live — suddenly start to blink red.

I’ve sat in those rooms more times than I care to admit. Sometimes the "no" comes from a supplier who commands unique capability; sometimes it’s a major customer who refuses to accept the service level we can sustainably provide. In the early years, I’d panic: I’d bargain harder, I’d try to charm, I’d offer concessions that kept us awake at night. Having invested time and soul in the negotiation, a No from the other side seems like a personal defeat, often triggering an emotional outburst and mentally labeling the other party as insensitive, unprofessional, rude and so on.

Eventually I learned two things that changed everything: first, you can get past a hard no; and second, the techniques to do it are not magic — they’re consistent, repeatable, and surprisingly human. William Ury’s breakthrough negotiation ideas and Chris Voss’s psychological toolkit are the two books I keep on my desk. I’ll quote from them sparingly, and then show how I used their ideas in gritty, real negotiations so you can use them too.

The Habits That Kill Progress

Before I offer recipes, let me name two habits that turn a negotiable “no” into a deadlock:

1. Reacting, not listening. We rush to answer with our logic, when what the other side needs is to be heard.

2. Arguing, not solving problems. We treat negotiation like a duel — point, counterpoint — instead of probing deeper and empathizing.

3. Silent withdrawal. This one is deadly and surprisingly common. When people hear “no,” they emotionally shut down. Instead of probing, they retreat — like a batsman walking off “retired hurt.” The silence might look graceful on the surface, but it kills momentum. The other side interprets it as disinterest, not dignity.

4. Taking “no” on ego. Many experienced negotiators fall into this trap. A “no” feels like rejection — of their preparation, experience, or authority. They respond with defensiveness, sarcasm, or a tone that says, “You’ll regret this.” Once ego enters, listening exits.

William Ury reminds us that the first victory in any negotiation is over yourself. If you can control these reactions — the urge to counterattack, to sulk in silence, or to turn the discussion into a personal contest — you regain your biggest advantage: clarity.

Chris Voss adds that the moment you let emotion hijack logic, you’ve “lost the leverage of calm curiosity.” The goal is not to suppress emotion, but to notice it before it drives your response.

The key point here is that a No is not an end of a negotiation, instead, it's a turning point that forces you to re-strategize or change the game plan. Over time, I’ve found that getting past “no” isn’t about clever tactics; it’s about applying several tested techniques. Each one helps you slow the emotional reaction, reopen dialogue, and turn resistance into progress.

1. Go to the Balcony (Calm Your Inner Voice)

Ury’s advice to “go to the balcony” — step back emotionally so you can see the negotiation from a wider perspective — was the hardest lesson for me. When I’m furious or scared, I act small; when I step back, the options multiply.

In practice, “going to the balcony” is tactical:

• Take a breath. (Yes, literally.)

• Reframe the problem: is the core issue price, capacity, timing, or reputation?

• Ask yourself: what’s the real worst-case if I walk away? Is it fatal or fixable?

When a European supplier demanded non-negotiable minimums for specialty tamper-proof packaging, going to the balcony stopped me from making a panic concession. It also freed me to map alternatives — a secondary supplier, a design tweak, and a phased roll-out. Those options became my leverage.

This calm view also helps you prepare your language. If you rush back to the table with a defensive tone, you’ll harden the other side. Calmness invites conversation.

2. Build the Golden Bridge

Ury’s breakthrough strategy isn’t about overpowering your opponent; it’s about building a bridge they can cross without losing face. He calls it the “Golden Bridge” — create a path to agreement that makes the other side’s choices easy.

How to build that bridge?

• Acknowledge their needs (don’t lecture).

• Reframe their position as an opportunity to meet both sides’ interests.

• Offer a step that lets them save face.

Let me share a quick example.

A few years ago, we were negotiating with a commodity supplier who flatly refused to provide an independent laboratory certificate for product quality. Their argument was simple: their in-house testing was sufficient, and an external certificate would only add cost and imply distrust in their system.

From our side, it was a non-negotiable requirement — our quality team demanded third-party validation for compliance reasons. The conversation reached a deadlock; every logical argument only made them more defensive.

Instead of pushing harder, we decided to build a bridge. We acknowledged their concern:

“We understand your testing standards are robust — you’ve maintained consistent quality for years. Our request isn’t a question of trust; it’s a regulatory safeguard we have to meet.”

Then we reframed the ask:

“If we make the testing random (instead for every consignment) and split the certification cost, would you be open to it?”

That simple reframe changed the dynamics. They weren’t being judged anymore; they were being invited into problem-solving. Within a week, we had an agreement — a shared certification process that met both sides’ needs.

That’s what Ury meant by building a golden bridge: you don’t push people to cross over to your side; you make it easier and safer for them to do so. A golden bridge often means turning the “no” into a condition rather than a dead end.

3. Use Tactical Empathy to Defuse the Fight

Chris Voss’s “tactical empathy” is not sympathy; it’s active, strategic understanding. He defines it as deliberately acknowledging the other person’s perspective and feelings to reduce resistance. It’s listening as a tool, a form of influence.

Tactical empathy tactics I use:

• Labeling: “It sounds like you’re worried about delivery risk.”

• Mirroring: Repeat the last three words or the critical phrase.

• The Accusation Audit: Before they can accuse you, list the worst things they might say (e.g., “You’ll think we’re inflexible…”), which robs the accusation of power.

• Calibrated Questions: “How can we structure deliveries so you can accept our timelines?”

A sales colleague once brought me to a heated renewal meeting where the customer accused us of price gouging. I began with labeling and an accusation audit: “You seem to be concerned about the cost impact and might feel we raised prices unfairly.” The room exhaled. The customer then told the real pressure: corporate cost targets. Once that was out, we could jointly design a rebate that tied price to volume, resolving the deadlock.

4. Use Data, But Don’t Lead With It

Procurement people love data. I am one of them. But numbers often persuade only after emotions calm down. Use data to anchor your credibility, not as a battering ram.

When a logistics partner rejected our request to include a penalty clause on delayed deliveries, I did not start with a spreadsheet of cost impacts. I started with tactical empathy: “I can see that you are worried about the factors beyond your control that may cause the delay.” That single acknowledgment changed the tone immediately. The partner relaxed and opened up about the challenges they faced — driver shortages, unpredictable traffic conditions, and restrictions at customer sites.

Once the emotion had settled and understanding was established, I shared the data — not to corner them, but to show how delays were disrupting our downstream commitments and most of delays were due to controllable factors. Together, we reframed the clause into a shared accountability for exceptions.

The lesson? Data should illuminate interests, not dominate the dialogue.

5. Create Options, Often Through “If — Then” Trades

Deadlocks often stem from fixed positions. “If I can’t have exclusivity, I walk.” “If you can’t pay in advance, I won’t deliver.” Break the rigidity with conditional offers: “If you can guarantee X, then we’ll accept Y.”

I once faced a large monopolistic supplier of specialty chemicals who suddenly announced a 15% price hike across the portfolio. When we reached out to discuss, their response was curt: “It’s a global decision. The price list has been revised.”

Normally, we might have treated that as a fait accompli — an unfortunate but inevitable change. But the impact on our cost structure was too severe to absorb. Instead of arguing price, we decided to think beyond it.

We invited their technical team to our factory for a joint study on Total Cost of Ownership (TCO). During the meeting, we made them a creative offer:

“What if we allow your R&D engineers to work on our production line to optimize the consumption of your chemical? The savings achieved can then be shared between both of us.”

It wasn’t a bluff; it was a genuine “if–then” trade: if they invested their expertise, then both sides could gain. We also pointed out that the results could help them pitch similar efficiency gains to other clients — a win for their marketing narrative.

The result was beyond expectation. They were enthused by the idea, secured internal approval, and also decided not to apply the 15% price increase to our business. In the process, we not only avoided a cost escalation but deepened a partnership.

That’s the essence of creating options — turning confrontation into collaboration. When you stop defending your position and start exploring possibilities, “no” transforms into “maybe,” and “maybe” into opportunity.

6. Know (and Improve) Your BATNA

This is the boring but crucial part: have alternatives. Ury speaks to creating options; the classic negotiation idea — BATNA — gives you the freedom to say no. If your only option is to accept a bad deal, you won’t have the psychological capital to try the techniques I’ve described.

Where I invest time:

• Develop secondary suppliers even if they’re slightly more expensive.

• Run internal pilots to prove alternative solutions.

• Keep a pipeline of potential customers so you’re not dependent on one client.

Final Takeaways — A Practical Checklist

So, next time you run into a tough negotiation and face a plain No, don't develop cold feet, argue or spoil relationship by reacting to the situation. Instead, apply some of the techniques that we discussed to turn a hard "no" to a possibility.

• Go to the balcony. Breathe. See the bigger picture.

• Use tactical empathy: label, mirror, and acknowledge.

• Ask calibrated questions: start with “How” or “What.”

• Build a golden bridge — offer a path that preserves face and solves an interest.

• Present conditional trades: if X, then Y.

• Always cultivate alternatives (BATNA)

Share your own experience in the comments below about similar situations and if any of these techniques helped you to get past a no. Happy Negotiating!